Monthly Archives: January 2011

I’ve Got Good News, And Bad News…

                Yes, friends, the unthinkable has happened. I have already failed one of my first resolutions in less than 1 day. I ventured to the pet store today, and purchased two very lively, … Continue reading

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My Blog Is Slowly Starting To Look Like A Chaste Virgin…

…Untouched.  I was going to compare it to my gym membership, but heard somewhere that “sex sells.” (Thanks for the tip, Larry Craig). Unfortunately, over the past week I’ve been distracted with work stresses and physical ailment.  And my resolutions … Continue reading

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Much Like Kanye, I Love Fishsticks…But Not Looking For a Long-term Relationship

I’ve gotten several suggestions to get a big aquarium tank.  Woah, woah, woah…let’s all slow down here.  I think I need to make myself clearer: once the year is over, I will not have a pet fish (or the even … Continue reading

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Finding Nemo

Cameron Diaz bought weed from Snoop Dogg in high school. FACT.  Strom Thurmond was a racist. FACT.  If you date Justin Bieber, you will get death threats from every tween girl in the nation, and will quite possibly suffer a … Continue reading

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God Is DEFINITELY Not A Vegan

So, I done my momma proud, and I’ve started my nightly Bible reading.  This may actually prove to be a good thing, seeing as how I have problems falling asleep early.  There’s nothing like sitting in bed, drinking the blood … Continue reading

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The List is Life

Apparently one of my Resolutions was to go directly to hell.  And I’m trying to accomplish this by capitalizing on a quote from Schindler’s List for the title of my inconsequential post. Anyway, the results are in. Here are Resolutions … Continue reading

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It begins…before it ends.

I did primarily most of my research of the end of the world off of “2012”: the fine cinematic nonfictional masterpiece starring John Cusack and Amanda Peet.  Although this exquisite film did not show the fate of New York City, … Continue reading

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